November 27th, 2009

Oh man. I am feeling a little...frustrated. I have been planning on doing an IDS for tarot of the trees (Intensive Deck Study-where you work with one deck and one deck only until you discover all the secrets of a deck and feel like old friends-it becomes readable in instants) but now that I have it, I realize I have bitten off more than I can chew. Because I am SO NEW to tarot-and because it takes a lot of work to become acquainted with each card and the meanings to where you don't have to even look at the book (A point I haven't gotten to yet)-I think trying to switch from the traditional cards to cards with nothing but trees on them is a little silly. Of course I think the cards are beautiful, but I need more time to just get acquainted with each card and the basics of tarot still. Then perhaps after I have completed an IDS with my Rider-Waite deck I will be able to unlock deeper meanings hidden in other decks with themes attached. Frankly, I am not at that point yet in my tarot skill. So I will simply continue learning with my RW deck.

As far as readings go, I haven't kept up as much as I'd like. I find myself doing them almost exclusively when I am home alone (with Mollie) where I can work with no distractions or expectations, can center myself, and can focus on nothing but the cards and the pictures and the meanings. This week has been pretty busy though, so my tarot study has suffered from that. I have been working almost nonstop and when I am not working we have somewhere to be. Monday and Tuesday were my last readings. Wednesday I worked all day, went home and read a little about tarot (no readings though), went to my best friend's house, got a little tipsy and tried reading a 'year ahead' spread for her…let's just say we didn't exactly stay on task. Yesterday was undeniably filled with holiday errands, my moms, Zack's moms, then home for a nap that lasted until this morning, when I headed off to work again. Now although I don't do a whole lot of busy work while I am there, there is a lot of buzzing and people walking through and I find it very hard to focus. I really wish I could find some way to enhance my tarot skills while I am here, seeing as I spend most of my time here. Luckily, I am blessed with a boyfriend who supports me in everything I do or hope to do. It makes it easier because I have no thoughts of self-consciousness with him as I do with most everyone else.

Since today is my birthday, I am hoping to buy a new deck or some new books, or spread cloths, or card bags, crystals, pendulums, anything tarot really(!) with my birthday money. I think I have spent enough on it with money of my own for now, especially considering I am very early in my learning stages. I have ordered 'Mary K. Greer's 21 Ways to Read a Tarot Card' and I'm hoping that will give me more of a focused direction in my learning journey. I am hoping to receive that sometime next week or early the following week. Then comes Christmas, and if nothing else I will get a little extra money then too to maybe expand my deck collection, or, hopefully my book collection. I am wondering which books will be the most helpful in developing reading skills…I keep saying that when I KNOW that the only way to really learn is to continue to practice.

One of the biggest struggles at sitting down and practicing is which questions to ask. I don't like doing many personal readings more in depth than a daily 3-card spread, mostly because honestly, I'm a coward. I don't believe I could be objective enough in my readings to get a card which looks negative and read it and BELIEVE that it isn't a sign of impending doom. It would always be lingering in the back of my mind and I would just be waiting for something to happen. So, until I have more experience with each card to where I can see all sides of meaning before jumping to (possibly terrible) conclusions before I can stop myself. So keeping that in mind I am very limited to the questions I am able to practice with and people also. Mainly I practice with my best friend and my mother. I've done spreads for my boyfriend and my brother, but I am just having a hard time thinking of new ways to practice. That will be my biggest goal for this weekend. Figuring out ways to get more acquainted with my deck. Asking it direct questions about itself the 'New Deck Interview' spread could be interesting. I like thinking of them as having…almost a personality. Considering it a friend instead of a tool. Although I haven't been practicing much I HAVE carried my deck with me everywhere I have gone since it has come in. It is almost always right here with me :-)